So today I realized something quite special. I am a huge fan of zodiac signs and the four elements. They are fire, earth, air and water. I am a libra sign and that means I am air. The air represents having a bit of “airy” personality, dreamy with the head in the clouds. It means that I experience the world more from my head, my mind. I can feel something very deeply but often I’m more sad or excited about an idea, more than the actual thing.
So appearently I have been locking all my feelings inside and what I show is just somekind of copy of my real feeling. Or at least thats what I think about it now. I was trying to relive some feelings and it just seemed impossible. I opened myself up as much as I could to try to find these feelings. They were somewhere deep down. I managed to get a little glimpse of them and it brought me to tears. After this experience I felt everything stronger and I was more assure of myself in public. I let myself smile or laugh at something funny or look at people and their emition. It was quite interesting seeing the world from this perspective and I plan on continue going in this direction.
Peace and love,
So, today I wake up and feel like crap. Why? Because I just had a break up recently. Then I started dating a guy but he feels too bad in general to date me and wants to focus on himself. All is good, I totally understand it.
Look, I just want to be really honest here. I want to write about my true feelings and not feel ashamed of them. And yeah, it happens that I feel really lonely like noone is going through the same things as me. But I know that it’s not true and I want to make this platform where feelings can be shared and heard and connections made.
So, today I wake up and feel like crap. I feel like I just want to hide at home, away from everything. I see my computer and I want to grab it, open netflix and start watching some drama movie and feel sorry for myself. Then I remember me reading somewhere that the mornings make your day. So make your morning good and your whole day will follow in the same footsteps. Cool, I try to be positive and think of something I can do to improv my morning. There had been a point in my life where I unfollowed all the instagram accounts that I felt had a negative impact on me. Instead I found some accounts with motivating quotes and pictures. I had seen a quote where the guy talked about smiling first thing in the morning. Smiling represents being grateful for something and so in that way you could show yourself and the universe that you are grateful for that day. And so I go to the bathroom smiling like an idiot. Well, I have to admit that it did cheer me up a little bit.
Next thing I did, that by the way also read on instagram, was to give out load thanks to all the things that I’m grateful for. The trick is to also mention the things that I don’t have yet but I want to have in my life and be thankful for. I mention them like they have already happened. This rule is called: the Law of Attraction, if you would like to look further into it. I really recommend it, it has helped me a lot through difficult times.
So after this gratitude morning session. I get dressed feeling a little bit more motivated but not quite as confident in myself as I would like to be. What happens when I am stressed is that I eat quickly and unmindfully, It’s really unhealty and it makes me feel horrible but sometimes I just can’t help it. At least I managed to cook something healthy which I was proud of because I really wasn’t feeling like doing anything earlier this morning. Then instead of working on something I watched a movie called How to Get Over a Break Up. There the woman quit her job to work on a blog and write a novel. She was so close to her female friends and I thought about my relationship with women that are usally quite stiff because I find it often very hard to share my feelings. This empowered me to start writing confession about myself and my feelings.
Cheers to my very first blog post and to all those who come across it.
Peace and love,
The Red Woman